vintage truck pull 016“That sinking feeling”: you know the one I’m talking about, right?

It’s that feeling that makes you want to give up, to believe those negative voices in your head. It’s the feeling that parents get when they are told that their child has autism.

“that cynking feeling”: where I tell stories to remind myself that the glass is half full. It’s the place where I spread the word of autism acceptance. This is where I don’t give up, where I ignore those voices in my head.

“that cynking feeling”: accepting my autistic son (and myself) one post at a time.

I hid my blog pregnancy.

Assuming I would be forever childless, I tuned out parents saying, “They grow up so fast!” So I was completely shocked to observe this phenomenon in my own son. Certain I would remember every milestone, I set aside the “My First Year” calendar, completely unprepared for the effects of fatigue and hormones on my once mighty memory. As my son rocketed toward age one, I realized I needed to remedy the problem.

I secretly gave birth to “that cynking feeling” on my son’s first birthday. Just as I was overconfident about raising a child, I had ambitious plans for my private blog: I would post one picture a day, with each photograph providing a unique glimpse into my son’s life. I sought out new adventures to create photo ops to help my son learn and grow.

Daily posts fell away as did my limit of one picture per post. I began sharing the blog with family and then friends. My son kept growing up and then was diagnosed with autism. Now I proudly publish my posts, hoping to spread the word of autism acceptance. I do this by not only writing about autism, but by sharing our everyday struggles and triumphs. Sometimes these remind me of my past, so you’ll see some stories about me, too.

Just look at this blog: it grew up so fast!

78 thoughts on “About

  1. It’s nice to “meet” you. I’m really glad that you stumbled across my blog. Also I Love your positive attitude and your acceptance of your son. I’ve met too many people who think people with autism are tragedies that need to be fixed and forget they love their kids once they get the diagnosis.


    1. Thanks for stopping by and taking time to comment. I’m slowly understanding what acceptance truly means. My attitude has certainly evolved as I read others’ blogs and do my own writing.
      Thanks for your words of support!


    1. I apologize for not replying sooner. I do write about SPD, but I haven’t felt confident enough yet to write/share a post on a speciality site. I appreciate the invitation and will certainly let you know if I have a post to contribute.


  2. Hi Cyn, I too have a 3 yrs old son who has autism. As i live in an Asian country, ppl are not that open-minded and many a times i feel so alone, having to deal with this disorder myself. My husband is there but a mother’s role is really different from a father if you understand what i mean. Nice to meet you 😉


    1. Nice to meet you, too. Thanks for stopping by. Even though my husband is the stay-at-home parent, and we do talk about autism together, sometimes I need to write about it here and get feedback from strangers. It can be very comforting to hear from others experiencing the same problems and triumphs.


  3. I hope to share you walk and your journey through this blog. Somehow I felt both a joy and sadness when I read this.As a parent, we will give everything to our child just to see them happy and have a world were they can shine the brightest. Your blog inspired me today. I wish you and your family all the joyful blessings in life.


    1. It’s 1am and I don’t know how I ended up on this page, but I always seem to be drawn to blogs like this because I loves me an autistic girl maybe? My kids aren’t autistic that I’m aware, I’m talking about somebody else’s daughter…nevermind. Anyway, as I was reading your blog, i was all holy crap, I have to hook this woman up with Kristi, but you’ve found each other. Yay!


  4. Cynking Feeling,
    If you ever want to write something for Black Box Warnings, let me know… It will be our pleasure to have you over.
    Le Clown


  5. I am so glad that you and your blog exist. My brother is on the Autism spectrum too. Just this week, he jumped over a professional hurdle all on his own. I couldn’t be prouder.


  6. Hi, I think we met at a (virtual) party. 🙂

    Definitely take Le Clown up on the Black Box Warnings spot if you feel like you can do it. That is another amazing community!


  7. Great post! I am glad to meet you! I’m a pediatric OT, this is my personal blog but sometimes may share things you like. So far the only post I’ve put up for kids is on my poetry page, called The Wiggly Pine. See you around!


  8. Dude. I think your title rocks and it totally drew me in. I know all about “that sinking feeling” for other reasons and I’m trying to constantly find the glass half full (even though I hate that saying) 🙂 I like the fact that you gave birth to this blog…very cool.


  9. Nice to find you. I hope there will be a lot of learning; not just some kind of inspirations. Blogging is what, we share practical experiences. I wish healthy life to you and your little boy. Soon, there will be no more cynking feelings for you and him, but do not stop writing at that time, many souls far away from you, wants to read about themselves. They just want someone else to transcribe their thoughts and emotions. They are even more silent than you and me. All the best! 🙂


  10. Hi Cynking. I’m glad I clicked over to your blog and I’m looking forward to reading your posts. My autistic son is 18 years old – yes, the time went by very quickly. 🙂 We’re doing pretty good though. It’s just me, him, and my Deaf 13 year old at home. Life really has a way of throwing around the adventures, doesn’t it?


  11. Andrea and I (from Pretend To Be Nice) picked you! The Liebster Award is awarded to bloggers with under 200 followers to try to promote their blog a little and also bring together a community of bloggers.

    Here are the rules: *The nominated user must provide a link bank to the person who nominated them. *Provide 11 facts about yourself. *Answer 11 questions set by the person who nominated you. *Choose 11 more people and ask them 11 questions.

    Find out why we picked you and our questions here: http://pretendtobenice.com/2014/04/29/liebster-award/

    Keep bloggin’!


  12. Hey Cyn…This isn’t an award thing, I promise. But I wondered if you were interested in participating in a “writing process” blog tour. I’m really trying to focus on writers whose work I admire because I want to hear about how you work. It’s also an opportunity to share what you’re working on with other bloggers. I would include a short paragraph about you in my blog tour response. I was tagged by Michelle Terry of MamaMick site. This is her contribution: http://mamamickterry.com/2014/07/29/unpolished-and-earthy-blog-tour/

    I need to tag three other bloggers who are willing to answer four questions about their writing process and tag three bloggers in return. I hope to get mine up this week. If you don’t have time or inclination, I completely understand. Thanks for considering!


    1. I went all Sally Field (“You like me. You really like me!”) when I read this comment. I’m flattered that you include me as a writer you admire.
      I read the four questions and have to admit that it would take me quite a while to answer them. Part of my problem is that, although I must have a process, it’s not necessarily the one I would like to have or recommend.
      I look forward to reading your answers to the questions since I admire your writing so much.


      1. Yes, I really do like you, Cyn! And no worries — I completely understand. I’m not quite sure what I’m going to say about my process…still figuring out if I have one!


  13. Hi there! Just wanted to say hello. I also have a son with autism. He will be 4 in December and was recently diagnosed. He is also nonverbal. (Man, if I had a dollar for every time I wrote those words I’d be rich…:-) Anyhow, glad I found your blog!


  14. please have a look at this site…..http://benjamindraws.com/about/….he is 11 yrs old with Aspergers….

    from the About page: “I am Benjamin. Born on the 15th of July 2003 to Jane, an illustrator, who cares and loves me like all mothers do. She allows me to explore different art mediums, tries to teach me the techniques, which I struggle to comprehend, due to my Aspergers….”

    I’m glad I found your site. I’m glad you are posting about this.


  15. … by the time your son hits his thirties it won’t be a ‘cynking’ feeling anymore, you’ll be playing in it like wet sand on a beach, squelching on the spot, seeing how far down you will go, seeing if you can get it over your feet … there is solidity beneath

    Liked by 1 person

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