Chilling thought

Papers in the roadside
Tell of suffering and greed
Here today, forgot tomorrow
Ooh, here besides the news
Of holy war and holy need
Ours is just a little sorrowed talk

Duran Duran –“Ordinary World”

“What are you thinking about?” he asked.

It was Tuesday mid-morning. I was still at home because my office was closed until noon due to the severe weather. We were laying on the bed under the covers because we could and because it was cold. The bright sunshine lighting the room was deceiving.

“Hmm,” was my only reply because “I want to jump out the window” isn’t something you casually drop into conversation.

I thought that part of my brain had atrophied. Its attempts to talk me into this ridiculous window-jumping notion were feeble at best. Like an unused muscle, that part of my psyche was too weak to convince me this was a good idea. The rational, healthy part of my brain kicked that part’s ass. Come on, the distance from window to ground would at most break a limb. The subzero temps would do more damage to me than the fall.

More importantly, I have reasons to live. I know I cannot be replaced. The chilling thought was fleeting.


Later that day, Emily of The Waiting Blog tweeted a link to the Blog for Mental Health 2014 Project. I clicked the link she had shared, read the post, and thought, “That’s interesting. Glad that Emily is going to do that.”

The more I thought about it, though, the more I began to think that I shouldn’t rely on other people to take the pledge and write about mental health. I thought about the moment that same morning when darkness wanted to get the best of me. I thought back to last year when I wrote a few posts about my previous experiences with depression. It was hard to share those stories, but I was glad that I did. I believe it was good not only for my own mental health, but for that of others.

That’s why I decided to take the pledge to participate in the Blog for Mental Health 2014 Project. I may not write a lot posts about mental health this year, but I believe in the value of this project enough to commit to it.

Here is the pledge, based on the words from the project founder’s initial call to action in 2012:

I pledge my commitment to the Blog for Mental Health 2014 Project. I will blog about mental health topics not only for myself, but for others. By displaying this badge, I show my pride, dedication, and acceptance for mental health. I use this to promote mental health education in the struggle to erase stigma.

You’ll see the badge over on the right side of the blog for the rest of the year. I encourage you to click the badge (or the image below) to visit the blogs of others who will contribute to the project.

blog for mental health

Do you have your own stories about struggles with mental health? Please consider helping others by sharing them and taking the pledge yourself. Together, we can fight the chilling thoughts.

I’m linking this to the yeah write #144 moonshine grid to increase awareness of this project.


24 thoughts on “Chilling thought

  1. I did not know about this. I am so in. Thank you for sharing this. And I understand those fleeting thoughts. Sometimes, they actually come out of my mouth, mostly in jest. But, I know all too well the feeling of wanting to ram my car into a street pole.


  2. Good stuff. I deal with it a lot at work, mostly where the problem is extremely obvious. It’d be good to get people on the cusp to be able to come out and seek help because there’s not stigma associated with it. Hey, we all need a little help with our stressful lives from time to time. Why should that be something we’re ashamed of, even if it takes some pills to do the trick??


  3. Thank you for sharing your story and the information on this with me. I am definitely signing up.

    We are here if you need us!


  4. So glad I saw this post! I have actually been considering writing about some of my depression and anxiety issues, and this is the perfect way to get me started. Thank you for sharing this resource! I am signing up!


  5. This is so awesome. I mean that because opening yourself up is so difficult. I may have told you this before; I haven’t struggled with depression myself but my sisters and my dad are chronically depressed and take medication, go to therapy, etc. It’s something that is hard to understand, and the more people that open up, the less stigma there will be toward people who struggle with mental health.


  6. I’m still scared to blog about it. That proves to me there’s a stigma. I feel like my anxiety could fuel the world because it’s so charged and makes me so unhappy. I pray for courage.


    1. When you share your stories about your battles with an eating disorder or your other anxieties, you are proving that your courageous. You don’t necessarily need to share every detail and every story to be brave. You decide what you feel comfortable putting on your blog.


  7. Thank you for pledging. Thank you sharing your story. Thank you for kicking that part of your brain’s ass!


  8. I talk about my anxiety and PTSD as regards my husband’s health problems and how they’ve traumatized me….does that count? Although….I’m really hoping that WON’T be a big source of blog fodder this year, if you know what I mean!


    1. My understanding is that you aren’t committing to a certain number of posts. The goal is to promote awareness and remove stigma. If you have any doubts, email the organizers. They have been very friendly. I’m sure they will be pleased to have you join the efforts.


  9. I struggled for nine months with severe manic depression. Although it was 12 years ago, the pain and terror is still palpable. Your first paragraph above describes It very well. I don’t know when I’m will be ready to share the details, but your post gives me hope.


  10. Maybe I should do this, too. I had a bad day today; the depression won. But this gives me small hope.
    On a side note, I love that song.


  11. Cyn, this is such a wonderful thing! Thank you for promoting awareness about issues related to mental health, it’s great that you’re taking the pledge.

    I really enjoyed how this post was written. I appreciate your honesty, and I love the Duran Duran song


  12. This is the first I’ve heard of this project! I’m a former psychiatric nurse (now school nurse) who especially appreciates this cause. Gonna think about joining myself!


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