helping myself

I’m not sure what part of me triggered the alert. Was it my inner cheapskate realizing there was something free down there? Or was it my inner fat kid, always on the lookout for food, especially sweets? Maybe my nosy side was activated by the out-of-place package on the table.  Let’s call it my natural curiosity that sent me down the hallway at work to see what had been left behind.


Honestly, I knew it was cookies. I’ve spent quality time staring at snack and cookie displays in stores. I was even confident that they would be Chips Ahoy! brand. I’ll admit I was expecting them to be some kind of seasonal or limited edition flavor. Nope. Just the chewy variety.

Chips Ahoy! cookies always disappoint me. I get sucked in by the photos on the packaging. They look so good but they never actually taste that great. The original flavor cookies are too dry, so I always hope the chewy ones will be better. Unfortunately, the texture and flavor are never quite right.

I’d like to claim that I exercised willpower not to take a cookie. That I told myself I didn’t need one. The truth is that I didn’t help myself because I don’t like the brand.

Only one other thing stayed my hand from the open package. Why is someone giving away perfectly good cookies?, I thought. It’s not like they were some weird flavor. Did they, too, experience buyer’s remorse and realize that Chips Ahoy! are not worth an exclamation point? Or had some unknown person tampered with the cookies and left them out as a social experiment to see which fools would partake from the poisoned package?

So, it was the will to live rather than willpower that won in the end. I helped myself but NOT helping myself.


15 thoughts on “helping myself

  1. Companies spend millions on designing packages that almost make you feel bad for not buying their product. My favorite is seeing “enlarged to show texture”, which translates to “product in no way looks anything like this picture”. I personally would have said “no” as well based on the fact that I prefer my daily sugar content to be suspended in coffee and not in pasty and oddly textured cookies.


  2. Never heard of chips ahoy, but unless it’s lent and I am off cookies (and sugar in general) there’s very little chance of me not eating cookies (/biscuits/cake/…) if they’re offered :S
    Do you work in the sort of place where people tamper with food or do social experiments often? I’m not sure I would have considered that.. but I probably will now…


    1. You aren’t missing anything having never heard of Chips Ahoy.
      No, I don’t think anyone ACTUALLY tampered with the product. But it did make me wonder why I was so trusting of random, free food.


  3. When I arrived at work yesterday there were some cheap shop-bought cakes and a box of biscuits left on the communal coffee tables in the corridor. I wasn’t hungry but I rammed a piece of cake in my mouth and thought about taking some biscuits. No idea who left them there but they seemed fresh… honestly don’t know why I do this, it’s as if I see food and have to eat it in case my next meal doesn’t arrive; maybe it’s some evolutionary thing??


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