If we were having coffee, I’d blurt out that I better order decaf because I turn into a motor-mouth after too much caffeine.
If we were having coffee, I’d be relieved that it’s just the two of us since I just admitted I get hyper if I have too much coffee. I’d recognize that I’m oversharing, but I wouldn’t feel too awkward during this one-on-one conversation.
If we were having coffee, I’d tell you all of this. Then I would tell you about what happened at work on Thursday, an example of how I react to large groups of people.
If we were having coffee, I’d say that I belong to a committee at work that organized our first-ever Thanksgiving potluck. I hate these type of gatherings, but I felt obligated to attend. Out of guilt, I even volunteered to make mashed potatoes.
If were having coffee, I’d describe how, on Wednesday night, I scrubbed a five-pound bag of white potatoes. I peeled and chopped them. I put the chunks into two large pots on the stovetop. After they boiled, I mashed them up and put them in my largest slow cooker. If we were having coffee, you’d laugh when I admit that, meanwhile, I reheated leftovers for my own family.
If we were having coffee, I’d confess how proud I was to remember to take a serving utensil to work with me. I used it to stir the potatoes every half hour until it was time for lunch.
If we were having coffee, I’d tell you how I grabbed my purse, crockpot and drove to the venue for our event. I only felt a slight twinge as I walked into the large space. I plugged in the slow cooker and looked for the spoon so I could give them a stir before the serving line formed.
The spoon wasn’t there.
If we were having coffee, you’d agree that the offer of a plastic fork was an inadequate substitute. You’d understand why I grabbed my keys to go back to my office.
If we were having coffee, you’d nod your head when I told you that, while I was heading to the parking lot, I became anxious as I passed a dozen coworkers carrying in their own potluck contributions. You’d get it when I’d say that the sea of smiling faces and buzz of conversation made me think, Forget the spoon – I am not coming back. Someone else can bring back my crock pot.
If we were having coffee, I’d get your suggestions for alternatives to the party: Take a nap in my car? Go to a restaurant? Hang out in the library? Hide in the office since everyone else is gone? These were all the thoughts that passed through my head.
If we were having coffee, I’d tell you how I bumped into Ann back at the building. She also had to drive back to use the microwave. She helped me find the spoon.
“I don’t want to go back,” I told her.
“I know,” she said. “I know exactly how you feel.”
If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that hearing her say she understood made the difference. It didn’t make me happy or eager, but it made me willing to try.
If we were having coffee, I’d add that she also refused to take my spoon back for me.
Even though it’s day 21 of the NaBloPoMo/NanoPoblano/yeah write NoMo challenges, this is my first time joining this link-up!