the future is now

This was in my inbox today. I wrote it as one of the tasks for my “101 things to do in 1001 days” list. I deleted my list after a year, so I can’t recall how many tasks I managed to complete. That action answers the question I posed to myself. Am I still afraid of failure? Yes, yes I am.

The following is an e-mail from the past, composed on September 07, 2012. It is being delivered from the past through

Dear C-
I’m scared. Are you?
No, there’s not a bogey-man lurking around the corner. But it seems that I am a conservative, cautious soul. I’m afraid of making mistakes. I’m afraid of the unknown. I’m afraid of failure.
Are you?

Did you reach those goals that I set today? Do your clothes fit better? Did you see new places? How were those books that you read? Did you have fun trying something new? Is there some food or activity that you tried that now you can’t imagine not eating or doing?

What is Philip like? I’m trying to imagine how his life in kindergarten is. School is almost out. What is the plan for the summer? I hope that I provided him with experiences that have helped prepare him for school. I hope that I thanked everyone at the preschool for all of their help and support.

I’m trying to think of words of wisdom or advice to share, but I am at a loss. Here are a few nuggets that I can come up with:

Remember to love Philip for who he is.
Remember to thank people, even for the smallest things.
Swear less, compliment more.
Make plans, but know when to go with the flow.
Don’t live with regrets by not trying something when you had the chance.
Keep learning.

I’ve never been good at picturing the future. My least favorite interview question is “Where do you see yourself in five years?” Right now, all I see is fog. Maybe I need to run with this by saying, “Why worry about the future that I can’t control? Live in the present!”

I guess that’s what I’ll have been doing in the time between writing this message until the day you read it.

Take care of yourself and the ones you love.


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