I took Monday afternoon off from work for an appointment, so I was home when Philip awoke from his nap crying.
I decided to take him to the spray park since the temperatures were high enough. I thought this might perk him up.
He was grumpy as I changed his clothes, put on his water shoes and put him in the car. He still seemed to be waking up when we arrived at the park.
I led him to the water. I noticed that Philip wasn’t playing like the other kids. I tried to show him how he could put his hands in the water. I tried to show him that he could step into the spray without actually doing it myself.
Philip rocked from side to side, looking down at the concrete.
Even though the sun was hot, the water was cold and the breeze brought goosebumps to Philip’s skin. I thought this might explain his reluctance to dash through the spouts of water.
I led him to a different area. It was more of the same. He didn’t dance under streams of water. He wasn’t aiming the water gun at other kids. He was rocking.
It was one of those times that I was feeling discouraged all because I was looking at the other kids and comparing Philip’s behavior to theirs.
Then I stopped myself. Instead of worrying about those other kids, I focused on Philip. What was he thinking/feeling/experiencing?
What was he looking at?
I looked toward the ground and saw it. The spray of water that Philip stood beside fell in a million different drops. The sunshine going through the stream of water created a constantly shifting shadow.
It was beautiful.
I could see why Philip wasn’t racing around like the other kids. Why do that when you could watch the beauty of the water being reflected in the sunlight, making shadows, dancing.
I realized that I had just read a similar story written by Jess last week at Diary of a Mom. The post was called “than most people ever see.” I recommend that you visit her blog and read this story. I hope I keep her post and my own experience in mind the next time that I am tempted to compare Philip to others and to assume that autism is making him less instead of more.
that cynking feeling 
Great post! No matter what the sitiuation, it is so easy to start comparing your children to others. I do that often as well! Thank you for the reminder that sometimes less is actually more! Cute pics too!
LikeLike
Thanks for reading and for commenting. Less is more-so true!
LikeLike
I have to remind myself from time to time to try to view the world as my children do to enhance my perspective on things. This post is an excellent reminder of why that is important.
LikeLike
I had to literally stop and try to see things from his perspective. I’m so glad that I did.
LikeLike
I’ve had similar experiences at the splash pad with my son. He’ll love to watch the spray of the water and gaze at it too. I would look around and think “go have fun like the other kids!!!” I’d even act silly and grab his hand and show him how to stick his hand or feet in and kinda swing him into the spray to make him squeal. I’d even wear a swimsuit and try and show him how so he could socialize with the other kids. Then….like you I had that moment where I stood back and watch him….really watched him. He gets joy in just watching the water….why is something that makes him so happy so wrong? Then I listened and realized that the other children’s squeals were probably hard for him and the water sensory helped him balance that. Thanks for sharing this….btw do read Jess’s husbands blog?
LikeLike
No, I don’t think I have ever read his blog. I assume there is a link to it on hers?
LikeLike
His last few posts have really hit home. Here’s the link:
http://runluaurun.com
LikeLike